I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
