the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
