If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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