In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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