Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
