if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize