i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
