i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
