The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
