She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
