You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
