He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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