Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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