he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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