You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shame - the story of my life.
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