please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
