DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
