Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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