It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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