Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
