It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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