fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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