What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
