Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
