I think my vagina is haunted
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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