I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
