Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
