my mouth tastes like poor choices
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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