I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
