when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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