I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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