you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
