Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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