he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
