Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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