tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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