i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
