her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
