Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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