her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize