btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
