I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
