the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My vagina just clenched in fear
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