I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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