Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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