I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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