Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
