I showed him my bush... on skype.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
