At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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