Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
