he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I want to be your penis for a week.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
