Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
