doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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