We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
