this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Boobs speak an international language.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
