If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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