ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
