i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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