i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
