Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
