Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
