And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
