Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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