Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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