Dual....:-)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
