mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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