Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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