She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
