At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
