Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
