Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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