You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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