You really coming over, don't trick.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
