some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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