There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
