My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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